If u wanna be my friend u have to understand that sometimes I can’t cope with conversations. And just because I’m on tumblr effectively shouting into the void but not replying to your message doesn’t mean I hate u it just means that the thought of talking to anyone in depth is extremely overwhelming
(Source: backaff)
Why are you so obsessed with monsters anyway?
I have always an intense identification with non-human creatures. They help me with self-identification. They're allowed to stray from typical beauty standards, which appeals to me, and they are allowed to be gender nonconforming, not to mention not have any gender at all. Typically "ugly" parts are turned into wonderful and handsome or beautiful form. Monsters are a really interesting way for me to accept both myself and my own standards of beauty.
they sometimes have multiple arms and muscles and are hot
Can I just say, uh, I’m pretty sure noticing you’re asexual is harder than noticing you’re any other sexual orientation, based on my personal experience and the numerous accounts I’ve heard from people of other sexualities. Like, I just read someone’s desciption of hitting puberty and, like, there’s nothing like that. There’s no sudden ‘boob’ moment as they described, no sudden ‘fuck, I’d fuck that’ moment that my friends have described, not sudden anything. You just, like, plod on through life as usual going ‘oooh, that’s pretty, I’d like that hair’ or ‘oooooh, they’re nice, I’d like to be close to them’ but there’s no like, ‘oh, someone would want to fuck that’ or ‘oh, that’s so damn sexy’, you know? You just- you don’t notice, you don’t realise everyone else has ‘had a moment’ but you haven’t, you just- keep going as you always have.
And then, much much later, you start to wonder why people are getting so caught up in drama for romance or sex, like, why bother? It’s not worth it, they’re not worth it, why are you doing stupid things for something that’s just so- and then you wonder if there’s something wrong with you, start mentally over compensating. Like ‘uh, okay, um, who should I date? Who can I stand to date? Who could I stand to fuck?’ like- it’s not, it’s not something you want, but you want to fit it, to be normal.
Sometimes you don’t even know that you’re doing it.
Sometimes you don’t even know asexual’s a thing.
I dunno, I guess, I just feel like, uh, people should understand more?
idk sorry thank you for listening to me
Being asexual does NOT mean you can’t be in a romantic relationship.
Contrary to what people might think, romantic and sexual feelings are not the same thing and just like you can have a sexual desire for someone without having the desire for a romantic relationship, you can like someone romantically without having any sort of sexual attraction torward them.
You can find them pretty. You can find them attractive even, without it being automatically linked to a desire to be sexually intimate with that person. Attraction doesn’t automatically means it’s something sexual.
Romantic Attraction =/= Sexual Attraction
- People are staring.
- People are laughing. They must be laughing at me.
- Am I giving not enough eye contact or am I giving too much?
- I kinda want to blend in with everyone but stand out too…I’m so confused.
- My mind is racing. I must calm down or I will have a panic attack.
- The restaurant is too crowded, I’m not going in. We have to go through the drive-thru.
- My phone is ringing. Should I answer or should I not? I know I should but I’m afraid I’ll stutter or won’t know what to say.
- I want more friends but I don’t know how to make friends. How do people around me so easily make friends?
- The store is very busy…forget shopping today.
- Midnight is the only time to go to a store without having a panic attack.
- I hate myself.
- Someone is watching me while I eat. I must look like a freak while eating. I’m just gonna lie and say I’m full, even though I’m not.
- Someone is riding in the car with me. I’d rather be driving alone. I feel like this person is judging my driving or thinks that I’m a bad driver.
- No one liked my status on facebook…what I said must be stupid. I should delete it.
- There’s a social event I was invited to. I must find an excuse to get out of going.
- I need to fake sick, so I don’t have to go anywhere today.
- I didn’t get the job. The manager must think I’m a complete idiot or know I have mental issues. I will never go back there.
- I can’t sleep, so I’m just gonna sit here and reevaluate every single thing I’ve done in life.- I’m a loser.
- I’m a freak.
- I’m worthless and everyone will see that one day.
- I’m already mentally exhausted and the day has just started.
- I hate this.
- I hate these thoughts. I want them to go away.
- The thoughts keep coming back.
- Negativity should be my middle name.
- Why am I so negative all the time?
- Why can’t I be more like him/her?
- Fuck life!
- A neighbor is outside. I’m not going to take the trash out until they leave because what if they start a conversation?
- I’m so afraid.